COWORKER: We so need to talk.
CRIMSON: If this has to do with Mocky the squirrel doing the buddy flick with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Gilbert Gottfried, his agent will get back to you.
COWORKER: We so need to talk.
CRIMSON: If this has to do with Mocky the squirrel doing the buddy flick with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Gilbert Gottfried, his agent will get back to you.
COWORKER: Yo Yo Crimson….You jamming around the PH Club today?
CRIMSON: Yes, I will be doing a little dance, makin a little…money, and gettin down tonight (or today rather).
COWORKER: Let me know when you want to go for break?
CRIMSON: All day, does that work for you?
COWORKER: Sounds great. Oh wait. That is what I am doing tomorrow. I am good all morning so just stop by.
CRIMSON: Okay, I will stop by at 15 random intervals for 1 minute each. Or else I will come by around 10:15, whatever the voices tell me.
COWORKER: COOL THE Voices are back. Remember the golden rule: Do not listen to THE voice that sounds like a dying squirrel that ate too much liverwurst on the trampoline.
CRIMSON: But that’s the only one I have today. He told me his name was Mocky (Rocky’s cousin). I guess I will have to listen to the voices tomorrow then when they change. For today then I will come by around 10:15.
COWORKER: I have told you this a hundred times…DO NOT LISTEN TO MOCKY. He is just trying to get you to dress in Xena Warrior Princess clothes, kidnap Dr. S and go swimming at the Naturalization site with the catfish. This is not a good thing to be doing when you have a mortgage. DO NOT LISTEN TO MOCKY.
CRIMSON: Alright, alright. I can’t swim anyway, it’s just as well. I’m allergic to cats anyway which automatically transfers to catfish as everyone knows so I’m better off not going.
CRIMSON: Q: If a three legged bathtub flew into your backyard, how many flapjacks could you fit onto an umbrella?
CRIMSON: A: 13, because there are no bones in ice cream.
COWORKER: 13 is incorrect. The correct answer is 1,234,753,478,246,997. Because, Scooby Snack Ice Cream is most definitely filled with bones.
CRIMSON: Aha! You must have talked to Ali Kalababwa to find out the true answer to that question since it has been the secret of many millennia protected and guarded closely by guardians such as myself and Ali. You must never repeat it to anyone as the fate of ice cream world wide now rests in your hands. Welcome to the fold.
COWORKER: I don’t do folds. Too much belly fat.
CRIMSON: Okay, well welcome to the guild then. We are known only to a few well placed and powerful individuals (i.e. G. Bush, Q. Elizabeth, B.B. Ghali, The Pope, and Sylvester Stallone) as the ‘Guild of the Sacred Order of the League of the Society of Boneless Ice Cream Secret Protector Guardians’.
COWORKER: I am sorry but I cannot be part of such an elitist group. I have standards and such an enterprise completely compromises my values. The absolute fact that you discriminate against Scooby Snack Ice Parlour Enterprises and most especially their renowned Chocolaty Bone Marrow flavour I find revolting. Quite frankly I am disappointed with your acceptance into such a “guild” and you affiliating yourself with such riff raff. I am off to consult with Ben and Jerry over this insolence. Don’t even try and stop me. Or you will feel the wrath of a good lei.
COWORKER: Nicole
CRIMSON: The Major League Baseball Association has launched a new satellite which monitors brain wave activities and for some reason it is interfering in my ability to read minds (I will certainly be lodging a long winded and not well thought out complaint) so I am having difficulty in picking this one up from your brain. I do however (as you well know) have a very active imagination and could come up with about a dozen theories as to the true content that one word is meant to convey but all of them will likely be incorrect. Perhaps you might wish to clarify or expand upon your thought process for me.
CHRONICLER: Panel Board Man Lives!!! On YouTube.
ALMIGHTY: Although he has a new disguise as a Sandwich Board! Clever Panel Board Man!
CHRONICLER: All of us here at the Health Cave are proud of you
PANEL BOARD MAN: Thanks. They killed me off in the comics so I had to come up with something new!
Breaking News: Late yesterday evening it was discovered that Crimson Myst, founder and CEO of the Church of Mysticism is made of combustable materials, she was quoted as saying “I blame my parents.” No further information is available at this time.
The Delta wormhole in sector 5.32.4.891 has officially imploded. The resultant inward spiral was achieved by gravitational 4Z trajectory intersecting a level 3 ion flux A Class 5 blackhole is in all likelihood located in sectors 5.32.4.765 through to 5.32.4.896.
Caution: Avoid travel in said sectors until the Church of Mysticism has engaged the subwoofer light jammers in appropriate areas.
Announcements will appropriately follow.
My two year old son has head like a freakin’ wrecking ball and he likes to headbutt. A few days ago he got me right in the bridge of my nose and forehead and I still have a headache.
So I like to watch Smallville and last Thursday was the season premiere. I was highly disappointed in the episode. Besides the fact that my boyfriend James Marsters wasn’t in it, I thought Clark’s visit to the Phantom Zone was too trivial and short and I thought Zod was way too easily defeated. Oh and Martha…..
Martha: “You want me to kill Lex Luthor? I can’t do that!”
Jor-El: “You must.”
Martha: “Oh okay. I guess I can easily go from sweet innocent mother, model citizen with high morals and a senator to homicidal maniac. Pass me the crazy knife and I will fillet that freak.”
Okay, so James isn’t my boyfriend…gahhhhhh! A girl can fantasize right?
Well at least I can look forward to ‘Heroes’ tonight, which had a wicked first episode I must say. So far Hiro is my fave character, he is hilarious and I love the pop culture references!
Death grip Spock! Death grip!
Ug, I am feeling craptacular today. I am in my Personality and Individual Differences class and am not hearing a word the professor is saying. It all sounds like Charlie Brown’s teacher speaking…mwah mwah mwaaah mwah mwah mwah mwah.
‘Do I want fries with that? Is that what you are asking? Oh you were talking about traits not necessarily predicting behaviour in any given situation. You must see how I might get the two easily confused.’
ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz
D – Daughter
H – Husband
M – Mother
S – Son
~~~~
ATC – Artist Trading Card
RAK – Random Act of Kindness
RPG – Roleplaying Game
Note: When it comes to postings of conversations and emails I take a little literary license with them to remove any identifying information or add a few words to clarify the context of a conversation so posts are not always verbatim.