Customer (via phone): CoWorker #1 was helping me with an issue, could you put me through to him?
Crimson: Sorry, he’s not with us anymore.
Customer (sounding surprised and startled): What?
Crimson: I mean he finished his co-op placement with us… he goes back to school.
Crimson (having elastic fight with coworkers)
CoWorker (trying to shoot folded piece of paper on elastic at Crimson): Damn, it went off early!
Crimson: That’s what you call premature elastication!
“I can be sweet but I’d rather be evil”
CoWorker #1: Hey CoWorker #2, there’s Labrador puppies up for sale on the web site, you need anymore dogs?
CoWorker #2: Hmmm
Crimson: They had Yorkiepoo puppies up for sale the other day too… (jokingly) at least I hope that is a kind of dog and not what the name implies otherwise that is just gross.
You ever have one of those days where have such a buildup of restless energy that you feel like duct taping someone to a chair and firing Nerf balls at them relentlessly? Not someone specific or for any reason, just whoever happens to be nearby and just because…
Crimson (shooting elastics at CoWorker’s cubicle):
CoWorker: Hey, don’t hit my plant.
Crimson (blinking innocently): It started it!
CoWorker: I am off tomorrow afternoon so the doctor can do some tests to find out what’s wrong with me.
Crimson (smirking): Okay, where do we even begin that list?!
I added a Tumblr account which you can access via the link on the right although I don’t know how much I’ll use it since it seems a little redundent and isn’t as user friendly as my regular blog. I am thinking I might just use it to post random pictures I take with my iphone or just random quotes but I haven’t decided for sure yet… I’ll just let it develop organically.
CRIMSON (making Crystal Light and stirring with a plastic ruler since a spoon is nowhere to be found):
COWORKER: Why are you stirring your juice with a ruler?
CRIMSON (deadpans): I am trying to measure how cold it is.
H: Hey S, wake up, do you want some pizza?
S (half asleep and still dreaming): Okay, I just have to take off my ninja mask to eat it.
D – Daughter
H – Husband
M – Mother
S – Son
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ATC – Artist Trading Card
RAK – Random Act of Kindness
RPG – Roleplaying Game
Note: When it comes to postings of conversations and emails I take a little literary license with them to remove any identifying information or add a few words to clarify the context of a conversation so posts are not always verbatim.
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