Crimson: I have to go make my presence known in the ladies room.
CoWorker: What are you going to do, kick the door in and yell “HEY!”?
Crimson: I do that every time, you just never see it because you have to cover the phones whenever I go.
CoWorker: Have you tried Dragon Fruit?
Crimson: What’s that?
CoWorker: (tosses something over cubicle wall)
Crimson: Oh, a Crystal Light flavour. I’ll have to try that today.
CoWorker: Just be careful because it will give you ninja like powers
Crimson: And since I am already a ninja, it will amplify my ninja abilities until I out-ninja even Chuck Norris
CoWorker: No, it is made from Chuck Norris’s sweat, so at best…
Crimson: I will just equal Chuck Norris then.
CoWorker: Or at least give him a workout.
Crimson: To create more sweat for him to make more Dragon Fruit with… I see how this works.
CoWorker: How is everything on servicedesk?
Crimson: Well, it…
CoWorker: Just lie to me (laugh)
Crimson: Everything is perfect!
Customer (via phone): CoWorker #1 was helping me with an issue, could you put me through to him?
Crimson: Sorry, he’s not with us anymore.
Customer (sounding surprised and startled): What?
Crimson: I mean he finished his co-op placement with us… he goes back to school.
Crimson (having elastic fight with coworkers)
CoWorker (trying to shoot folded piece of paper on elastic at Crimson): Damn, it went off early!
Crimson: That’s what you call premature elastication!
CoWorker #1: Hey CoWorker #2, there’s Labrador puppies up for sale on the web site, you need anymore dogs?
CoWorker #2: Hmmm
Crimson: They had Yorkiepoo puppies up for sale the other day too… (jokingly) at least I hope that is a kind of dog and not what the name implies otherwise that is just gross.
Crimson (shooting elastics at CoWorker’s cubicle):
CoWorker: Hey, don’t hit my plant.
Crimson (blinking innocently): It started it!
CRIMSON (making Crystal Light and stirring with a plastic ruler since a spoon is nowhere to be found):
COWORKER: Why are you stirring your juice with a ruler?
CRIMSON (deadpans): I am trying to measure how cold it is.
COWORKER #1: They have a new chef in the cafeteria.
CRIMSON: Yeah, from the McDonald’s School of Culinary Arts
COWORKER #2: They’re serving pork with cabbage today.
CRIMSON: What’s wrong with that?
COWORKER #2: That’s the soup.
COWORKER: I love LOLCats
CRIMSON: I think from now on we should answer all tech support calls in LOLCats language.
D – Daughter
H – Husband
M – Mother
S – Son
~~~~
ATC – Artist Trading Card
RAK – Random Act of Kindness
RPG – Roleplaying Game
Note: When it comes to postings of conversations and emails I take a little literary license with them to remove any identifying information or add a few words to clarify the context of a conversation so posts are not always verbatim.
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