I am mighty! I have a glow you cannot see. I have a heart as big as the moon! As warm as bathwater! We are superheroes; we don’t have time to be charming! The boots of evil were made for walkin’! We’re watching the big picture, friend! We know the score! We are a public service, not glamour boys! Not captains of industry! Keep your vulgar moneys! We are a justice sandwich. No toppings necessary. Living rooms of Canada, do you catch my drift? Do you dig?
Sure, Gravity is a harsh mistress but you don’t fight destiny, no sir… and you don’t eat crackers in the bed of your future! Yes, destiny has her hand on my back, and she’s pushing! Hug your destiny!! Oh, what a goofy work is man. Y’know, evil comes in many forms, whether it be a man-eating cow or Joseph Stalin, but you can’t let the package hide the pudding! Evil is just plain bad! You don’t cotton to it. You gotta smack it in the nose with the rolled-up newspapaer of justice! Bad dog! Bad dog! And you don’t do it for money. No! You do it for love! You know, I’ve learned something… on justice and on friendship, there is no price. But there are established credit limits.
Panel-Board Man, let your journey into hugeness teach us all a lesson. Absolute power is a sticky wicket. Some of the best things come in small packages. But large things can’t! Unless they’re inflatable, or require some assembly, or unless they’re hearts. Yes, giant, juicy, loving hearts! As big as the moon, but much, much warmer!
Villains, I say to you now… knock off all that evil! Thank you Panel-Board Man, for inspiring us all…
Sincerely,
Dis P.C. Bytes