I was on Twitter tonight. Wow, that form of social media is so hard for me since I tend to be verbose and I am not a fan of overusing netspeak to shorten things up. It’s probably why I don’t have many tweets when considering the length of time I have had a Twitter account. For some reason I find reading something that has a lot of slang to be jarring when I read it, like hearing brash, sour notes in a delicate sonata or reading numerous repetitions of the F word in a Shakespeare sonnet. It just disrupts the flow of language. I am not against the evolvement of language, the lexicon of the English language changes everyday and there is nothing that will stop that. I am not a language snob, and I don’t try to throw in fancy vocabulary to make myself appear smart. Goodness knows that the more I learn the more I realize how very little I know. I took a Mensa test once and got a 129 but I read these informed, well reasoned opinion pieces on various topics I find interesting and I feel so unintelligent in comparison.
When I get this introspective it usually means I am in what I call a low cycle (I am bipolar). It’s the time of year. Crappy Christmas related memories from childhood and melancholy memories from my teen years. Some of them I can’t figure out whether I should be sad or happy. When I was 18 my best friend died as the result of a car accident. The last time I saw her was on Christmas Eve. I am grateful that the last words I ever said to her were that I loved her but infinitely sad that she is gone and that this event that should be a joyous occasion has just become a yearly reminder that I will never see her again, never hear her amazing laugh that conveyed just how much she loved life, never hug her, never talk about boys and relationships, never share our dreams for the future with each other. I cherish the wonderful memories I have of her but I deeply long for the memories we could have made but never got the chance to.