(via email)
CRIMSON: I am the last bamboo tree in the middle of a panda sanctuary.
COWORKER: I am the lonely bamboo tree’s last leaf staring at a slobbering panda mouth.
CRIMSON: Cheetos ate my Doritos and then the mosquitoes and the bandidos… well… they just weren’t happy about that. And, I mean really, who would be happy about snack food genocide. Those poor Doritos being wiped out by their cheesy overlords. It really makes you think…hmmm… and then to make matters worse, it doesn’t even seem to matter to the greater global society. Do you see anything about it in the press I ask you? No! Those sensationalistic, rumour mongering, bottom feeding, space monkeys, don’t even see fit to stick at least a two sentence blurb about it even in The Ladies Home Journal.
Oh the humanity of it all!!!!
Can’t we all just get along!?!?!
Like, really… can’t we…
COWORKER: I am sorry, but I have to agree with the tactics that Cheetos use to enhance their fatty goodness cheesy flavor. What better way to increase the sticky powdery cheesiness of one’s self than to devour a less superior snack food?
CRIMSON: You madame… are barbaric!