Thought this was a funny response to when you get chain letters…

I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send
me your chain letters over the past two years. Thank you for making me
feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy;
because of your concern.
……………………
I no longer can drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
……………………
I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these
products are atheists who refuse to put “Under God” on their cans.
…………………..
I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
……………………..
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be
pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
………………………
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a
water buffalo on a hot day.
…………………….
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a
perfume sample and rob me.
……………………….
I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually
Al Qaeda in disguise.
…………………….
I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don’t support the
troops.
…………………….
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a
stupid number for which I will get the phone bill from hell with calls
to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.
……………………
I no longer eat prepackaged foods because the estrogens they contain
will turn me gay.
………………………
I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible
mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
……………………
I no longer go to bars because someone will drug me and take my
kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.
……………………….
Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I
forward an email to 7 of my friends and make a wish within 5 minutes.
…………………………
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who has
been dying for the past seven years.
………………………….
I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive
the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in
their special e-mail program.
………………………..
I will now return the favor.
If you don’t send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 60
seconds, a large bird with explosive diarrhea will fly over your head at
5:00 PM and the fleas of a thousand camels will infest your armpits. I know
this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of a friend of a
friend’s neighbor’s cousin, and he’s a lawyer.

Write 20 random facts about yourself then tag the same number of people as minutes it takes you to write the facts.

1. I’m 5’4″ tall.
2. I am a Systems Support Technician.
3. Lost is my favourite show.
4. I am pissed that ‘Dead Like Me’ and ‘Angel’ were cancelled.
5. I have never had a cavity or cavity search.
6. I have my motorcycle license.
7. I collect postcards from around the world
8. I have broken seven toes in my life but no other bones.
9. I am bipolar
10. I am left handed
11. My favourite subject in high school was Drama
12. My favourite book is “The Witching Hour” by Anne Rice
13. I am a terrible cook
14. I started an Improv Club at my university last year
15. There is currently a thunderstorm going on here
16. I believe in spirits and that there is intellegent life elsewhere in the universe.
17. I love playing practical jokes
18. I love learning new words (vocabulary)
19. I am minoring in Psychology at university
20. I don’t often wear makeup

Tagging but not forcing:

wickedchicken, slonik, lordsoth

Ontario Plate# ASMB 714 – A blind, demented baboon, with tertiary syphilis is a better driver than this person. When they do eventually die in a car crash, the death certificate will read: “Cause of death: Extreme and Chronic Stupidity”

“Either we communicate with each other or we destroy each other. If we do not help that 80 percent of the population in poverty, nobody will live a human life.”

Director/writer Jonathan Jakubowicz, speaking on the moral of his movie ‘Secuestro Express’

Just in case you’ve had a rough day, here is an 8-step stress management technique recommended in the latest psychological texts. The funny thing is that it really works.

1. Picture yourself near a stream.
2. Birds are softly chirping in the cool mountain air.
3. No one but you knows your secret place.
4. You are in total seclusion from the hectic place called “the world”.
5. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.
6. The water is crystal clear.
7. You can easily make out the face of the person you’re holding underwater.
8. See! You’re smiling already —

I think this is the most I have ever posted in one day, except perhaps the Adventures of Panel Board Man. Anyway, my little reunion this weekend has got me thinking about other people that I miss.

Nancy – Who was there when D was born and moved out west. College life was wickedly fun together. I tried finding her web page today since I lost the link but I can’t find it.

Owen – The gifted genius. Even though we are better off not talking I still miss him and think about him.

Suzanne – A childhood friend but we don’t really have anything in common anymore so we didn’t stay in contact. Guess that is one of the tragedies of growing up.

And of course Grace, always always Grace.

Well, the list goes on I had better quit now before I go from happy to meloncholy.

I found some of my old journals under other user names and copied out a couple of my better posts, like this one:

Date: 2002-03-21 22:04
Subject: Nothing in particular
Security: Public
Mood: bitchy
Music: My own crabby thoughts

Not even sure why I am posting now. I am quite crabby but I can’t sleep, probably because I am so crabby, so here it is. Me in all my crabbiness *flexes pincers*. Crab crab crab crab…

Well if I sit here any longer I will vent stuff here I shouldn’t so I will go crab somewhere else. Crab crab crab crab…

AND

Date: 2002-03-12 22:46
Subject: Captains Log: First Entry – Stardate 200203.11
Security: Public

Okay, here it is, my first post in a Live Journal after some friendly coaxing by some good friends. As I said to them my posting will consist of seven key elements which are (in no particular order): 1) Complain 2) Whine 3) Whine 4) Complain 5) Complain 6) Complain 7) Whine.

So if you are a random reader you know what to expect. Dont’ say I didn’t warn you. Well, seeing as this is my first post I will you and myself off easy. Class dismissed.

Wow, I had a bit of an epiphany today. I recently visited some friends from high school where we caught up and had a good time. One of my ex-boyfriend’s names came up and it was mentioned that he had enquired about me. I gave them my standard response, that in all the world, he was the one person I hated, it is what I have felt for a very long time.

Well, I’ve been thinking about this for a couple of days now and realized I don’t hate anymore, I don’t feel anything in regards to him anymore. It is like he was never a part of my life and has no meaning.

This may seem minor but it is actually quite important since I had carried that hate for a long time.

I feel great about this.

I rather like this quiz as it is at least more intellectual than most of them and could possibly give real insight depending on your interpretation.

You scored as Idealist. Idealism centers around the belief that we are moving towards something greater. An odd mix of evolutionist and spiritualist, you see the divine within ourselves, waiting to emerge over time. Many religious traditions express how the divine spirit lost its identity, thus creating our world of turmoil, but in time it will find itself and all things will again become one. Idealist 94% Cultural Creative 81% Existentialist 75% Romanticist 56% Postmodernist 38% Modernist 38% Materialist 31% Fundamentalist 31% What is Your World View? (corrected…hopefully) created with QuizFarm.com