The Delta wormhole in sector 5.32.4.891 has officially imploded.  The resultant inward spiral was achieved by gravitational 4Z trajectory intersecting a level 3 ion flux A Class 5 blackhole is in all likelihood located in sectors 5.32.4.765 through to 5.32.4.896.

Caution: Avoid travel in said sectors until the Church of Mysticism has engaged the subwoofer light jammers in appropriate areas.

Announcements will appropriately follow.

My two year old son has head like a freakin’ wrecking ball and he likes to headbutt. A few days ago he got me right in the bridge of my nose and forehead and I still have a headache.

So I like to watch Smallville and last Thursday was the season premiere. I was highly disappointed in the episode. Besides the fact that my boyfriend James Marsters wasn’t in it, I thought Clark’s visit to the Phantom Zone was too trivial and short and I thought Zod was way too easily defeated. Oh and Martha…..

Martha: “You want me to kill Lex Luthor? I can’t do that!”

Jor-El: “You must.”

Martha: “Oh okay. I guess I can easily go from sweet innocent mother, model citizen with high morals and a senator to homicidal maniac. Pass me the crazy knife and I will fillet that freak.”

Okay, so James isn’t my boyfriend…gahhhhhh! A girl can fantasize right?

Well at least I can look forward to ‘Heroes’ tonight, which had a wicked first episode I must say. So far Hiro is my fave character, he is hilarious and I love the pop culture references!

Death grip Spock! Death grip!

Ug, I am feeling craptacular today. I am in my Personality and Individual Differences class and am not hearing a word the professor is saying. It all sounds like Charlie Brown’s teacher speaking…mwah mwah mwaaah mwah mwah mwah mwah.

‘Do I want fries with that? Is that what you are asking? Oh you were talking about traits not necessarily predicting behaviour in any given situation. You must see how I might get the two easily confused.’

ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz

Lately I have been spending a lot of time on Yahoo Answers. What a great way to waste my time only faster and in larger chunks. Before I know it, it is the end of the day.

Question: Do you Like me?

My answer: I like chedder cheese. I know cheddar cheese. I do not know you. If I did know you, I might like you, but I don’t, so right now it is all about the cheese.

My brain is so foggy today and I have the strongest sense of unreality. Kind of what I imagine an out of body experience would feel like. Like I am sitting there watching myself do things.

When I got to work today it took me a few minutes to remember what my computer password was and a few more to remember how to spell it.

I watched the Oscars last night. They aren’t even very interesting anymore, it is more the fact of it being tradition to watch. I can’t believe the songs that were up this year. They were all crap. Really spectacular mounds of steaming crap. I would have even preferred a jingle from Randy Newman over any of the choices. In all the movies that came out this year, those were the best ones?!?! Dolly Parton looked like a freaking marionette. She looked like she is in competition with Joan Rivers for botched plastic surgery.

I am so negative today. Hmmm…I will just blame it on whatever entity is in possession of my brain right now because I am just watching from the sidelines today.

This is from my school newspaper and obviously authored by a male reporter…

101 reasons I didn’t commit suicide in 2005

1. Oh, that’s just what the man wants, isn’t it!
2. The escalating price of rope is ridiculous.
3. Must take responsibility for fathering Gwen Stefani’s baby.
4. It’s almost my turn with the magical pair of pants that fit each of me and my three best friends perfectly, despite our various body sizes.
5. Unaccomplished Life Goal #1: Watch a goat eat a tin can.
6. There are still songs left to write.
7. All I had in medicine cabinet were mother’s old estrogen shots and Flintstone chewables.
8. The much-heralded return of NBC’s Must-See-TV Thursday night comedy line-up.
9. Jumped, but living in a bungalow, I only fell about 10 feet from ledge.
10. Lindsay Lohan is finally on the mend and I want to be there for her.
11. Unaccomplished Life Goal #2: Kill a hobo for the contents of his bindle.
12. Waiting for digitally re-mastered version of Death Race 2000 to be released.
13. Eagerly hoping for a Golden Girls reunion movie.
14. Just recently developed a passion for playing Donkey Kong and eating Cheetos in my underwear.
15. I have a cake in the oven.
16. Would like to see a world where all racial and social groups can live together in perfect harmony.
17. Where Salma Hayek and Lucy Liu make-out all the time.
18. Suicide note was riddled with typos.
19. And written in a ridiculous novelty font.
20. Man-crush on Justin Timberlake oddly satisfying.
21. Have to think about ‘the fans.’
22. Whoever will care for my beloved pony Buttercup?
23. Two pages of The Brock Press would be empty every week, and though most would not object to this change, Editor-In-Chief is legally obligated to present actual content in paper.
24. Simply had to find out who the
Carver was on Nip/Tuck.
25. Have to see how the Killers/
Bravery feud turns out.
26. Unaccomplished Life Goal #3: Learn to play a musical instrument; smash instrument across Rob Thomas’ stupid horse face.
27. Waiting for Dick Clark to die first.
28. I value my autographed headshot of Dave Coulier and the rest of the Full House gang far too much to leave them unattended.
29. Arsenal! Go, Arsenal!
30. Had money for a tank of gas, or garden hose, but not both.
31. With my blood pressure and regular fits of Hulk-like rage, nature is bound to take finish me off soon enough.
32. Taunted by bad memories every time I close my eyes. And I dig that.
33. Still searching for that perfect pair of slacks that provide both comfort and support for the fuller-figured gentleman.
34. In chartreuse.
35. Need to hear what Cake’s next album is going to sound like. I suspect horns!
36. Unaccomplished Life Goal #4: Soar through the sky while standing on the backs of two majestic eagles.
37. I forgot to add the fabric softener.
38. Anne Rice’s Jesus book was a real eye-opener.
39. The world needs laughter now more than ever.
40. Witnessed birth of puppy, inspired by miracle of life.
41. Irrational fear that Hell is entirely populated by dogs eating placenta.
42. Basic Instinct 2 in 2006: Now with 33% more vagina!
43. Must rationally and systematically prove that resistance is most certainly NOT futile.
44. I haven’t finished eating my sub sandwich yet.
45. Vending machine at work owes me either 50¢ or a Coke.
46. No one else to lead the national anti-Phil Collins march.
47. Been hired to assassinate the Bailiff of Guernsey and I really ought to follow through on that.
48. First draft of my erotic tele-play, Mother, May I Sleep With Father (with Tori Spelling attached!) nearly complete.
49. Unaccomplished Life Goal #5: Must discover the Caramilk secret.
50. Unaccomplished Life Goal #6: Also, how Yes, Dear has lasted six freaking years and Arrested Development gets the boot after two and a half.
51. Music is my aeroplane.
52. Promised auntie I would help her decoupage paper roses on all her hardwood floors and finishings.
53. No legitimate heir to the Lowry fortune exists.
54. I had too much fun doing your mom.
55. The return of the Jack Bauer Power Hour!
56. I need to see the role that Dakota Fanning eventually takes as a drug addict/whore/murderer to prove that she’s more than just a child actress.
57. Recent viewing of Monster-In-Law by choice left me feeling that death was too good an option for me.
58. Unable to ever part with my one true love, bacon.
59. No way heaven would take me, looking like the Nick Nolte mug shot, as I do.
60. Must find a replacement for me at the meth lab first or Terry my boss will freak.
61. What the heck is down that hatch!? Oh right … nothing of interest.
62. Had too much fun laughing at all the jerks who got tickets for Lord of the Rings: The Musical.
63. Been hearing a lot of good things about that gay cowboy movie and should probably check it out.
64. Most recent Harry Potter book left a lot of pressing questions unanswered, like “How will Harry ultimately defeat the evil Lord Voldemort?” and “What exactly is in Hagrid’s beard?”
65. I have discovered the secret to inner peace. It is called Glenlivet and Soduku.
66. Unaccomplished Life Goal #7: Make a dog and cat kiss for like 15 minutes straight.
67. Still trying to understand NASCAR’s baffling level of appeal to Southern Americans and the mentally impaired.
68. Those Christie Swiss Cheese crackers alone are worth living for.
69. Dying to finally see a star-studded big screen adaptation of Mamma’s Family.
70. I could spend forever lost in Rex Goudie’s soulful eyes.
71. Fumbled with trigger of pistol after giggle attack when remembering that Smurfs in French is “Schtroumps.”
72. Unaccomplished Life Goal #8: ‘Accidentally’ spill a great big plate of extra saucy pasta all over the new Pope’s garb; point; laugh.
73. Christopher Guest and Rickey Gervais in the same movie. You better believe I’m gonna stay alive for that. DOING!
74. Clouds that look like stuff are ever-so-dreamy.
75. Refuse to deny myself the satisfaction of witnessing members of Creed die first.
76. My new faith as a devout Musicologist and the uplifting sermons of Brother Prince.
77. After a night of animal-like passion, Cheryl Hickey would be extremely pissed if I abandoned her now.
78. I can’t be destroyed by conventional means.
79. I got to make the doughnuts.
80. Discovering the joys of the Bedazzler has given me a new lease on life.
81. Restraining order Rachel McAdams has against me reduced to only 50 km.
82. Unaccomplished Life Goal #9: Build a robot penguin.
83. Must prove myself to peers by becoming a respectable and accomplished journalist.
84. But not before cleaning up at the national chili eating championships!
85. So many regrets to take care of … so much lost time I need to make up … plus, I have, like, $30 in outstanding fines at the library.
86. Must exterminate all Puggles.
87. Unaccomplished Life Goal #10: Put a Hamster in a little R/C car and drive him around like people. Then drive it off cliff.
88. If those amazing little Empire penguins can persevere through such harsh conditions, I should at least try and eat one before I die.
89. I’ve been looking totally makey-outy lately.
90. Got memo back from my stone mason: apparently chosen epitaph has “too many swears.”
91. New found faith in the monarchy after recent knighting of Sir Tom Jones.
92. I don’t believe in much, but I believe in the power of crunk.
93. Suicide is played out, yo. Self-mutilation is where it’s at.
94. Unaccomplished Life Goal #11: Dangle chicken wing in front of Nicole Ritchie and lead her head right into wall with it.
95. Promised my band, Blunt Force Trauma, we’d make it to CBGBs by next Christmas.
96. Somebody’s gotta pay the cable bill!
97. I got to see my new Dill Pickle milkshake through to market.
98. All I got is disposable razors, and as practical as they are for actually shaving, they leave much to be desired as implements of death.
99. The triumphant return of the McRib!
100. Concerned those dudes on Prison Break won’t make it out.
101. Whiskers on kittens, packages tied up with string, yadda yadda yadda.

…And 5 that nearly pushed me over the edge:

1. What Kim and Alec are doing to little Ireland is just criminal.
2. Only two System of a Down albums last year? What the heck is that about?
3. My crippling joylessness, depression and loss of hope for the future.
4. I totally hate it when people are mean to kitties!
5. Couldn’t bear it if Bill Cosby went before me.

It has been awhile since I have made an update or changes to my web site but things with school have been pretty hectic. I have an exam tonight, one next week and two essys due. At least the topics are interesting, “The Psychology of Dieting”, which I am very familiar with…lol..and “Phonics promotes better litereacy skills than whole word learning”.

I can’t wait until school is done for the semester though so I can actually read a book for enjoyment and not a text book or journal articles.

I went to see the Blue Man Group the other day, it was friggin’ hilarious. At one point the whole audience was buried to their necks in streamers (I am not exagerrating). I also liked their artistic commentary on the human condition in the information age which was the sort of theme of the show. I highly recommend seeing them, especially if you are into abstract art and theatre.

I took a break from the diet I was on since the very limited foods choices was making me depressed (and starving). It’s not that they don’t allow a lot of different foods, they do, its just that I am a very picky eater and most of the foods you are allowed to have, I dislike. So, I pretty much eat the same thing day after day which can get depressing but at least I have lost a lot of weight (I got very very heavy when I was pregnant with my son). If you want to lose weight fast, it is the best diet to do in my opinion (Dr. Bernstein diet), just damned expensive. The needles in the stomach (vitamin injections) were getting on my nerves too. I am back on it though and have about 35 lbs left to go.

Not really in any particular order.

1) I love you
2) Crap!
3) Tee hee hee
4) I don’t want to work today
5) Extra large cammomile tea, triple milk, 3 sweetners on the side
6) Get up!!!
7) You’re so cute
8) Have a craptacular day!
9) Have money….must spend
10) Sorry, that was another Simpson’s reference

P.S. I got 75% on my Nutrition exam….Yay me!